East Bay PFLAG chapter marks 40 years

LGBTQs and straight allies filled the ballroom at the Berkeley City Club, a Julia Morgan historic hotel, to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Oakland-East Bay chapter of PFLAG. Officials from the national organization were on hand and spoke about the power of the group that works with parents and families of queer people.

The September 18 reception included a program of speakers and a panel discussion, before cake and champagne were served. About 150 people attended.

Edith Guffey, a Black woman and straight ally who is chair of PFLAG’s national board, told the Bay Area Reporter that the event was “fabulous.”

“I’m so pleased to be here, and now, more than ever, it’s so important,” Guffey said in a brief interview, referring to the organization. Guffey is a longtime former chief operating officer of United Church of Christ and lives in Lawrence, Kansas. She remains involved with UCC in the state and joined the PFLAG national board in 2019, becoming its chair last November.

“I think people are hungry to be together,” she added.

During her remarks to the audience, Guffey said that she has a nonbinary child. During college, they were in a fraternity that held a Thanksgiving dinner for those students who couldn’t go home to their families because of who they were.

“I was just livid,” Guffey said, that such an event had to occur. She explained that her child knew their parents loved them, so Guffey said yes to serving on PFLAG’s national board.

She also referenced the federal lawsuit PFLAG filed against the Trump administration earlier this year. Shortly after President Donald Trump’s inauguration, PFLAG was one of the first LGBTQ-related organizations to file a federal lawsuit against Trump’s executive orders threatening federal funding for gender-affirming medical care for people under 19. A judge granted a preliminary injunction in March. The lawsuit is ongoing.

Since then, however, hospitals and clinics across the country, including Kaiser Permanente, Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, and Stanford in California, have ceased providing either surgeries or other care to trans people under 19.

Guffey said that the need for PFLAG is shown by the estimated 40 new chapters that have sprung up since last fall. Many are in smaller communities, she said, such as Sterling, Kansas.

The national PFLAG organization is increasing its commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion, Guffey said, in spite of the challenging times and the Trump administration’s efforts to quash DEI initiatives at universities, businesses, and in the federal government. The assassination of right-wing activist Charlie Kirk earlier this month “doesn’t change the core work of PFLAG,” Guffey said. (Kirk extolled anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ viewpoints over the years. Tyler Robinson, the young man charged with aggravated murder in Kirk’s killing, reportedly has a romantic partner who’s transitioning to female, though they have not been implicated in the case. Right-wing leaders and Trump supporters have been using the possible trans connection to vilify trans people on social media.)

Beth Streeter is a straight ally who is a past president of the Oakland-East Bay chapter and now is a member of PFLAG’s national board.

“I came to PFLAG 11 years ago when our son was in the coming out process as a trans man,” Streeter told the B.A.R. “PFLAG creates a space of love and acceptance for parents, and mentors us to be loving and accepting of our children.”

She recalled that a 16-year-old recently came out to their parents with a PowerPoint presentation. “The last slide was, ‘Go to a PFLAG meeting,’” Streeter said.

Streeter’s son, David, was also at the event. He told the B.A.R. the organization is needed.

“People supporting others going through a transition or life change can be very helpful,” he told the B.A.R. “They’re doing such important work.”

Veronica Oberholzer, a gay woman, is the current chapter president. Her mom, Jennifer Dent, is a former board member. During the program, the two gave a brief history of the organization. PFLAG was started more than 50 years ago by the late Jeanne Manford, whose late son Morty was a prominent New York City gay rights activist.

“She refused to be ashamed of her gay son,” said Oberholzer. Manford famously marched with her son in a gay Pride parade in New York City, to cheers from onlookers.

Today, that enthusiasm still remains, said Oberholzer, who pointed to the recent Oakland Pride parade that included a PFLAG contingent. The core of PFLAG, however, remains its monthly support meetings.

Dent said that she went to her first PFLAG meeting about 20 years ago.

“Back when I joined the board, we’d joke that our goal was to be obsolete,” Dent said. “We stopped making that joke a long time ago.”

Oberholzer isn’t the only out leader of a Bay Area PFLAG chapter. As the B.A.R. noted in a Pride Month story in June, the San Francisco chapter is led by Robert Costic, a gay man.

State Senator Jesse Arreguín (D-Berkeley), a former Berkeley mayor, presented a proclamation to chapter officials. He told the B.A.R. in a brief interview that as a straight ally, he was proud to support PFLAG’s work.

“I’m excited to be here to honor the work they do in the East Bay community,” he said.

He later told the audience that the Legislature this session passed “a number of strong bills” to “protect the rights of all people. The work you do now is more important than ever.”

Panel discussion
Alexis Madrigal, co-host of “Forum” on KQED public radio, emceed the event and moderated the panel discussion, which included Joe Hawkins, co-founder and CEO of the Oakland LGBTQ Community Center; Liam Chavez, who works for the School of Public Health at UC Berkeley; and Victoria Kolakowski, an Alameda County Superior Court judge.

Kolakowski, a trans woman who is married to B.A.R. news editor Cynthia Laird, made history in November 2010 when she was elected to her judicial seat. She talked about a recent Facebook post she wrote asking friends to share messages of what gives them hope. She also acknowledged young law students she recently saw in action during a moot court competition at the University of San Francisco, where she is an adjunct professor.

“They have energy and enthusiasm,” she said.

Chavez, a bi trans man who is disabled and Cuban American, said his family is not supportive of him.

“There’s a lot of generational trauma in my family, and I have a lot of empathy for them,” he said. “I came out in 2019 and had to figure out adult life on my own.”

Hawkins, a Black gay man, said he had “a lot of love,” but then spoke his truth.

“I actually get tired of white folks and the stuff they’ve done to this country,” Hawkins said. He added that the Oakland center “sees thousands of people we help of all races. Young people are making a difference every single day. I have so much hope, I know we’re going to be OK. We just need to go through this.”

Hawkins noted that when the center was launched, he and others had a “Racism Under the Rainbow” forum.

“And you were there to learn,” he said, referring to members of the PFLAG chapter. “I’ll never forget that.”

Before the guests enjoyed cake, Streeter took to the stage to make a donation pitch. The chapter’s goal was to raise $30,000, with some of those funds going to the Oakland center, the Pacific Center for Human Growth in Berkeley, and PFLAG national to help with the costs of litigating the federal lawsuit. She referenced the tough time many in the PFLAG community find themselves in because of the federal government’s crackdown on LGBTQ rights, especially for trans people.

“At a time like right now it is incredibly tempting to isolate, and each of you showed up. And I needed you to show up, because you created community for me tonight,” Streeter said.

“I invite you to love out loud,” she added, before mentioning ways to donate or volunteer. “Loving out loud feels really good.”

The Oakland-East Bay PFLAG chapter usually meets the fourth Tuesday of the month. For more information, or to donate, visit pflag-eastbay.org.

The San Francisco chapter is hosting a community gathering from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Friday, September 26. To RSVP and receive the location, visit pflagsf.org/events.